


Drabble Collection

by tellezara



Category: Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 18:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellezara/pseuds/tellezara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the drabbles I've ever written for the gyakuten100 Livejournal Community. All Gen!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drabble Collection

Title: When You Answer The Door  
Characters: Edgeworth + ???

DING DING DING, the doorbell was constant now. Finally, he caved.

“Augh!” he stomped over to the door, wrenching it open.

“Trick or treat, Edgey, FOR GREAT JUSTICE!” boomed the Steel Samurai, his head cocked at a crazy angle and a sinister leer on his face. 

“Trick or treat, FOR PINK JUSTICE!” added the Pink Princess, swaying from side to side as blood dripped from her mouth. “Now, you’d best hand over that candy, Edgey-poo, now you wouldn’t want to see me go zombie on you, oh no, that wouldn’t do at all, now, would it?”

The door-slam was reflex.

*****************

Title: Till Justice Is Served  
Characters: Will Powers, Sal Manella, Jack Hammer.

"Aaaand cut! lolz, gr8 job gaiz!"

The Steel Samurai remained posed. 1... 2... 3... he counted, and at ten he finally lowered his spear, the rage abating.

"Powers! J00, here," Manella pointed.

The Steel Samurai barely registered the name shouted in his direction. He turned, towering over the director, spear still gripped solidly in his right hand. Through the hazy vision of his mask he saw the muted colours of Manella's sweaty hand, pointing at a spot on the dusty ground. Standing there, he awaited the next command.

"Hammer, I want j00 here. Clash-tiems b4 teh bIg bOsS! Lulzepicwin!" Manella chortled. "And go!!1!"

The Steel Samurai whipped around to fix his eyes on the Evil Magistrate, his metal-clad heel grinding up a dust-cloud. The butt of his spear slammed into the ground, grinding a hole upon impact, sand flying everywhere. The sun beat down from above, and inside his costume, he swam in sweat. Until the last cut of the day, no matter how tired he was, or how dark it was outside, Powers would hold character, for the kids who sat in front of their television sets and believed in him.

"Magistrate!" he roared. "Justice will be served!"

*****************

Title: Waiting To Go On  
Characters: If I told you, it'd give the game away XD

 

She waited in the wings, not nervous, not afraid – she’d been around far too long, seen far too much, to feel like that. No, this was her chance, her golden moment! Nobody was going to take this away from her this time – her chance to shine, be the main event at last.

There, her cue! Every hero she’d ever worshipped, from Don Adams to Juan Corrida, was with her now, as an exhilaration not felt in decades took her, the cobwebs falling away as she barrelled onto the stage, rapier brandished and dodgy hip forgotten. She was a heroine now!

*****************

Title: Mind A-Wanders  
Characters: Edgeworth, Kay, Gumshoe

 

“You’re doing it again, Mr. Edgeworth!”

“Hm?” A snap back to reality.

“Spacing out!”

“It’s not ‘spacing out’ – it’s being ‘deep in thought’,” he corrected her.

“Lost in thought, more like!”

“I'm never lost in my thoughts, Kay – I always know the direction I’m aiming for.”  
“I know which direction we need to go in – it’s that way,” she pointed towards the embassy. “And we’re never gonna make it if you keep stopping to ponder! C’mon, let’s investigate!”

“Yeah, pal!” Gumshoe agreed, and off they ran.

“Someone’s got to do the thinking for both of you,” Edgeworth sighed, following them.

*****************

Title: Leaf-Collecting  
Characters: Kid!Larry, Phoenix and Miles

“Mine’s the best-“

“Nuh-uh, MINE’S the best!”

“Mine’s got loadsa bird poo on it, look!”

“Mine’s got loadsa different colours!”

“Larry and Phoenix!” Mrs Caxton exclaimed, cutting the two of them off. “Stop that – your leaves are all going on display together so it doesn’t matter who has the best one. And Larry, find another leaf – I’m not having leaves with bird droppings on them in the classroom.”

“Awwww, miss!” Larry whined. “This one’s cool, I wanna keep it anyway.”

“It’s not coming back with you, that’s that,” Mrs Caxton was firm. “Look, there’s plenty of dry ones under that tree. Have a hunt - you might find a big maple leaf.”

“Hey, yeah! I’m gonna go find the biggest one!” Larry ran off towards the tree.

“Is mine okay, Miss?” Phoenix asked, holding his up.

“Ah, a birch leaf – that’ll do nicely!”

“Hee!” Phoenix grinned at her, waving his leaf around.

“Did you find a leaf, Miles?” Mrs Caxton called out.

Miles was crouched over at the beech tree a few yards away, his hands cupped together. Carefully he stood up, walking back across to them.

“Ooh, whatcha got, Edgey?” Phoenix asked, looking. “Wow, that’s huge!”

“It’s a stag beetle!” Miles said proudly. “Oh!” he exclaimed as the beetle spread its wings and flew out of his hands. “Come back, beetle!” He ran after it and tripped over a tree root, landing face-down in a pile of leaves. “Oof!”

“Haaaa, Edgey fell over!” Larry sniggered; he’d just come back with an enormous maple leaf.

“Oh dear, Miles,” Mrs Caxton sighed, hurrying over, but Phoenix had beaten her there.

“You alright, Edgey?” he asked.

“Mmf,” was the reply, and as Miles picked himself up he revealed the little smile on his face. “That was a bit silly of me, wasn’t it?”

“Nah, you’re just silly anyway, Edgey,” Larry ran over. “Whoosh!” He kicked a pile of leaves into the air.

“Hey!” Miles protested as they showered over him.

“Larry,” Mrs Caxton despaired, although deep down she knew Larry’s part in the little trio was a good one really. Had Miles fallen over like that six months ago he likely would have cried, or been embarrassed. Now, with Larry chivvying him, he seemed to take these things in his stride a lot more.

“Ooh, there was a good leaf in here!” Miles bent down and picked up a real cracker, full of oranges and reds that bled into one another. “Beech tree, miss?” he held it up.

“Correct, Miles, well done. Everyone’s found a leaf now – time to head back!” She blew her whistle to get the class to line up.

“Let’s come back here after school!” Miles exclaimed. Maybe the beetle would still be around, and he could catch it in his lunchbox and bring it home to show his father.

“Yeah!” Phoenix agreed.

“If I find your beetle I’m gonna squish it!” Larry cackled.

“Don’t you dare!”

And so they bickered all the way back to school.

*****************

Title: Things That Go Bump In The Night  
Characters: Edgeworth, Gumshoe

CRASH!

Edgeworth jumped, dropping the evidence he was about to put into his locker - it was a blood-stained china plate in a clear bag and it hit the floor, smashing to smithereens.

"Dammit!" Edgeworth cursed, picking up the bag with the broken pieces and turning around to yell at the person responsible for the noise. There was nobody to be seen. 

What was that crash? 

He hadn't been aware of anybody in the evidence room before now... was it an intruder?

CLANG!

"Who's there?" he called out. 

There was a groan. Edgeworth groped in the locker, drawing out a baseball bat labelled GT-8, then having suitably armed himself against whatever he might find, he walked slowly around the corner of the aisle of lockers.

There was a squelch. He looked down, finding he was standing on a floor stained crimson, and his heart skipped a beat, his fingers tightening their grip on the handle of the baseball bat. Suddenly there was a sound behind him, and he turned, to be confronted by the horrifying sight of a blood-covered, trench-coated being, its enormous jester-hatted head lolling grotesquely in the half-light as it stumbled towards him.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Edgeworth swiped at it with the bat, knocking it in the stomach.

"Oooof!" it said, slipping on the wet floor and falling down with a thud. As it hit the floor its head fell off, to reveal a dazed-looking Detective Gumshoe.

Edgeworth stared in astonishment, then he quickly hid the baseball bat behind his back, rearranging his face into one of cold disapproval.

"What the hell are you doing, Gumshoe?" he demanded. "Were you responsible for that crash earlier?"

"Uhhhh, Mr. Edgeworth!" Gumshoe said blearily, looking up at him. "I didn't know you were here."

"You made me drop some evidence, you clot!" Edgeworth snapped. "What on earth is that hideous mask you were wearing?"

"Oh, this?" Gumshoe held up the mask, which Edgeworth could now see had a disturbingly happy face painted on it. "This is the Blue Badger, sir, it's the Police Department's new mascot and I've been tasked with assembling it!" he said proudly. "Except, um, one of the pulley bands snapped when I was trying to hook it on and it caught me in the face, so the head got stuck - I knocked over some paint, and-"

"That's enough of your feeble excuses, Detective," Edgeworth said brusquely. "Now clean up the mess," he instructed, waving his hand at the paint.

"Am I getting a salary cut too?" Gumshoe asked dolefully.

"Provided you don't mention this latest incompetency of yours to anybody, I'll waive it this once," Edgeworth said loftily, skirting around the detective and backing around the corner, keeping the bat out of sight.

Gumshoe sighed with relief, then went to find a mop.

*****************

Title: Safari Day Out  
Characters: Maya, Pearl, Phoenix, Edgeworth

“He’s just around the corner,” Phoenix called out, hanging up the phone.

“YAY!” Maya and Pearl cried, rushing for the door, opening it to peer down the road.

There was a low thrumming noise in the distance, getting louder and louder as it drew closer, then a heavy black 4x4 pulled up outside the Wright and Co. Law Offices, engine chugging away. The window was wound down and Edgeworth leaned out, taking off his sunglasses.

“Are you all ready...” he began, then trailed off upon seeing the two thoroughly disappointed-looking spirit mediums standing in front of him. “Why are you both pulling a face?” he asked, nonplussed.

“Well... I thought it was gonna be a safari in a Ferrari,” Maya said, crestfallen.

“It rhymed and everything,” Pearl sighed sadly. “What a shame.”

“Wait, you honestly thought I was going to let hordes of baboons near my beloved car?” Edgeworth said incredulously.

“WE ARE NOT BABOONS!” Maya protested indignantly.

“I think he meant the ones in the safari park, Maya,” Phoenix said patiently. He should’ve known better than to take these two on a day out anywhere – he could just forsee Edgeworth turfing them all out of the 4x4 as hyena food before the day was out. “Hey, Edgeworth, thanks for agreeing to drive us today. I don’t know what I would’ve done with the free tickets otherwise.”

“You shouldn’t enter competitions you can’t redeem the prizes for, Wright,” Edgeworth chided him. “It’s fortunate for you that one of my colleagues was able to lend me this vehicle and I had time available to taxi you three around today.”

“I didn’t know you liked safari parks, Mister Edgeworth!” Pearl exclaimed. “So what’s your favourite animal?”

“I’m not particularly fond of them,” Edgeworth corrected her, “but I do appreciate the power and strength of the lions. It is better to admire them in a safari environment where they have more space to roam, compared to mawkish staring in a zoo.”

 _He would like the lions; they are the top predators in the savannah_ , Phoenix thought to himself.

“And what about you, Nick?” Maya asked. “What’s your favourite?”

After a few moments thought, Phoenix replied with a grin,

“I like the impalas – they’re pretty graceful, and even though they’re mostly defenceless they can outmanoeuvre a lot of predators and live to fight another day... kinda like defence attorneys!”

“I’ve never met a graceful defence attorney in my life,” Edgeworth said dryly. “Besides, once overtaken an impala is rapidly despatched by a bite to the throat...” there was a gleam in his eye as he said this, and Phoenix paled.

“D’you reckon Mr. Nick could outrun a lion?” Pearl wondered.

“Oooh, I’m not sure,” Maya replied thoughtfully. “He’d have to run very fast...”

“You could try it and see,” Edgeworth suggested, face deadpan.

“On second thoughts, I’m feeling a bit ill, maybe I might stay at home...” Phoenix said quickly, retreating back indoors.

*****************

Title: Insight  
Characters: Maya, Phoenix

"Nick, you can't let him get away with that! He insulted your ancestry!" Maya said indignantly, glaring at the man standing in the witness box opposite.

"Does it really matter?" Phoenix sighed - he was hardly concerned with the witness' insults, more trying to crack the man's apparently watertight testimony. "I've hardly a respectable pedigree given that half my family line is American-Irish and unemployed."

"But he's so high and mighty!" Maya clenched her fists. "I can't stand people like that, who value breeding over everything else. Aunt Morgan was the worst for that."

Phoenix didn't reply. He was going over the man's testimony in his mind. There HAD to be something, some angle he could approach from - but what?

"Nick, are you even listening to me?" Maya continued. "You can't let toffy people like him walk all over you like that! Just look at him, all dressed to the nines for his day out in court. It's like he thinks he's the star witness - he's probably spent ages rehearsing his testimony-"

"Maya, I don't have time for this right now," Phoenix said exasperatedly. "I'm trying to think, so just let it slide, okay?"

Maya fell silent, but her babbling had made Phoenix wonder. What if the guy HAD spent ages prepping his testimony to show up any pleb defense lawyers trying to undermine him? Maybe that was the key - perhaps instead of pressing on the significant details it would be better to force further testimony on something inconsequential, something the aristocrat hadn't considered important in the overall case. There was evidence in the Court Record he knew would be just the thing.

"Sorry, Nick," Maya mumbled. "I let him get to me."

"Don't worry, Maya," Phoenix said, rifling through the court record. "You were only annoyed on my behalf, and I'm sorry I told you to shut up, because what you said just gave me an idea on how to crack this guy. So talk away, okay?" he said, smiling at her, then he pulled out the bit of evidence he needed, shouting "OBJECTION!" across the courtroom.

*****************

Bicycle Abuse  
“Hey, what are you doing to my bike?” Phoenix demanded, running over to the two patrolmen who were about to cut his chain lock with an enormous pair of clippers.

“This is your bike, sir?” one of the patrolmen asked incredulously.

“Yes, it’s mine!” Phoenix waved the chain lock key in front of them. “I was just about to ride home – what were you going to do with it?”

“My apologies, sir,” the patrolman said. “It’s been chained up outside the courthouse for months now – we were about to impound it.”

“Impound it?!” Phoenix gaped. “But I ride it to and from court every day – how could you assume it was abandoned?”

“Well,” the officer said sheepishly, “it was always there whenever we were walking past, and it looks a bit… shabby…”

Phoenix gave them a scowl to rival Miles Edgeworth’s and the patrolmen hastily departed, full of apologies.

“Don’t worry, Dollie,” he said, patting the handlebars of his bicycle. “I’ll never let them take you away – you’ll always be beautiful to me.”

===================================================

Phoenix’s legs pumped the pedals like pistons as he took the corner at top speed, rejoicing in the feeling of the wind rushing past him. How great it was to cycle on an open road like this! Behind him he heard the sound of an approaching car and he moved over to let it pass. However, it seemed to slow, drawing alongside him. He looked sideways as he pedaled, seeing a swish, red open-top sports car. In the driver’s seat was a man in a crimson sports jacket and sunglasses, grey bangs flying in the wind, one string-back gloved hand on the wheel and the other giving him an elegant wave before putting his foot down, revving the engine and accelerating ahead and into the distance, leaving clouds of yellow highway dust and a choking cyclist in his wake.

 

======================================================

“Niiiiick…”

Phoenix opened his eyes and sat up on the office couch, looking around.

“Huh, Maya?” he said blearily, then caught sight of her and Pearl peeping around the office door. “What’s up?”

“Uhhhh,” Pearl began nervously, looking up at her older cousin.

CLUNK.

The two Fey girls winced.

“What’s that noise?” Phoenix asked, getting up from the couch, suspicions aroused. “You two have broken something, haven’t you?”

“Well, um, you were having a nap, and me and Pearly got a bit bored, and,” Maya gabbled, the pair of them shrinking back from the doorway to the accompaniment of further clunks.

Phoenix sighed.

“Guess a guy can’t even take a nap without something happening around here,” he said, rubbing one eye. “Hey, I’m not too fussed, you know – I’m not gonna growl at you or anything. Nothing in the office is particularly precious and a bit of glue will fix…”

Maya and Pearl exchanged glances, morose expressions on their faces. He was just making it worse. Phoenix trailed off, one eyebrow raised.

“What?” he asked.

“We’re really, REALLY sorry, Mister Nick,” Pearl said glumly, and Maya opened the door wider to reveal the tangled bits of metal they were both trying to support.

Phoenix stared at it, recognizing the metallic blue and green racing stripes, the now-misshapen front wheel with fluorescent spokes and the dangling red gear wires. Another bit of the fender fell off onto the floor with a loud clang.

“I was racing it up the road and I hit a lamp-post… and then there was a lorry…” Maya mumbled.

“Dollie…” Phoenix sniffled, picking up the fallen fender. “Maya, what have you done to her?”

*****************

Title: A Bad Night  
Characters: Phoenix, Maya

"Morning Nick!" Maya said cheerily, then trailed off when she saw his face. "Cor, you look like death!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks, Maya," Phoenix said dully. "Thanks a bunch." His hair was a mess, his eyes were heavily-lidded and he still had some stubble on his face that he'd missed while shaving.

"Bad night?" Maya asked, switching on the kettle in the corner of the office.

Phoenix gave her a haunted look.

"There was an old movie on last night," he mumbled. "With a clown in it..."

Maya paused, hand in the teabag tin.

"A-ha!" she said triumphantly. "I can diagnose your sleeping problem!" she plonked a teabag in each mug and turned with a flourish. "I, the great Doctor Maya, do hereby declare that YOU," she pointed dramatically at Phoenix, "had a bad case of Moe Curls in your sleep! Am I right?"

Phoenix groaned.

"Every time I got off to sleep I was dreaming about slipping on banana skins, and he was laughing at me the whole time! Will it become chronic, d'you think?" he rubbed his eyes blearily.

"Totally!" Maya agreed. "In fact, I'd say it's terminal - and now your medical bill will be a hundred thousand dollars. Cha-ching! Thaaaankyou," she curtseyed.

"Just be quiet and make the tea."

*****************

Title: The Loser's Shack  
Characters: Pearl, Larry  
Warning: PW3-5 spoilers, watch out!

“Hey, Mister Deuxnim,” Pearl asked shyly, “do you ever have dreams?”

“’Course I have dreams, Pearly!” Larry grinned. “This is the Loser’s Shack, everyone here has a dream but it never gets realised, ‘cause, well, we’re losers! But that’s okay, ‘cause you’re not as much of a loser if somebody else is here to be a loser with you,” he tipped her a wink.

Pearl sighed, scuffing her feet on the dusty ground as she sat on a log by the mediocre fire Larry had managed to make.

“I wanted to train really hard and become a great spirit medium,” she said in a small voice. “That was my dream, but I’m never going be able to do that now I’ve lost my powers. I’ve been such a bad girl, Mister Deuxnim… I…I tried to do what was asked of me but I couldn’t. I’m such a, a, l-l-l-loser!” she wailed, finally bursting into tears. “M-m-mother will be so d-d-d-disap-p-pointed…”

“I know how you feel, Pearly,” Larry said sombrely, offering her a half-cooked potato. “My mother chucked me out when I dropped outta college. You an’ me, we’re never gonna come to anything, but the Loser’s Shack is ours and nobody can take that away from us!”

Pearl took the potato, chewing on it while tears still rolled down her face.

“This tastes really nice, Mister Deuxnim,” she said. “May I have another?” she hiccupped.

“Sure thing! Only the best mouldy potatoes for us losers, and hey, how about I draw you a picture? Yeah – I’ll draw my dream, and then you can draw yours!” he said excitedly, grabbing up his paper and pencils.

A few minutes later he was finished and he tore the paper out of the sketchbook to show his little loser protégé.

“That’s Sister Iris, isn’t it?” Pearl said, looking at the picture.

“Sure is!” Larry smiled, misty-eyed. “She’s my dream girl, but she’s shy and doesn’t talk much.” He looked crestfallen. “She never came to meet me last night… she’s too good for a loser like me!” he sniffled.

“Don’t cry, Mister Deuxnim!” Pearl tried to console him. “She might still come to see you, and you’re not as much of a loser as I am.”

“Hey, you’re right!” Larry said, brightening up. “She might still come later. Now it’s your turn!” he said, offering her the sketchbook. “Draw your dream!”

“I can’t really draw, Mister Deuxnim,” Pearl mumbled, chewing on a thumb.

“Have a go,” Larry encouraged her, “it’s all about what the picture means, not what it looks like!”

Pearl hesitantly took the paper.

“I’m not gonna draw a picture of me being a medium,” she said determinedly, rolling up her sleeves. “’Cause that’s not going to happen anymore. I’m gonna draw a dream that WILL come true!”

Holding the pencil firmly between her fingers she began to draw. Larry munched potatoes until she had finished.

“It’s not very good,” Pearl confessed, showing him.

“THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED?!?!” Larry’s voice echoed around the ravine.

*****************

Title: Colour Change  
Characters: Gumshoe, Phoenix

“Hey, Gumshoe, is that a new coat?” Phoenix asked the big detective. “No wonder I couldn’t find you earlier - I was looking for Gumshoe in Khaki Green, not Gumshoe in Beige.”

“It’s not new, pal – Maggey washed it for me!” Gumshoe said proudly. “The washing machine broke and flooded out her kitchen, but this old thing came out looking pretty good and it didn’t take long to mop up after.”

Phoenix’s jaw dropped open. He stared at the coat, completely amazed.

_What the hell kind of greenery did he have growing on it originally?! No wonder the washer broke…_

*****************

Title: Practice Makes Perfect  
Characters: Odoroki, Kirihito

_This time I'm not going to fall over, wrench my shoulder or poke anybody in the eye... Here goes nothing!_

Rushing wind, motion blur, the satisfying snap of shirt sleeve as he flung his arm out, index finger extended, ending in a perfect point.

"Wow, that felt great! I think that's my best one yet... so, how do I look?"

"Odoroki," Kirihito sighed, "you forgot to shout 'Objection!'"

"...Oh..." Odoroki dropped his hand, crestfallen. "Can I try that one more time?"

 

*****************

 

Title: Reinvented  
Characters: Phoenix, Pearl, Maya

"Sorry, Mister Nick, I don't think you've got what it takes," Pearl said sombrely.

"Pearly's right, Nick," Maya agreed. "Mr. Edgeworth bows gracefully, and you bow like Gutsen Brawl's punched you in the middle!"

"I suck that much? Gee, thanks a bunch," Phoenix said mournfully, shoulders slumped. "So much for trying to expand my repertoire of stylish courtroom poses..."

"Never mind, Nick," Maya patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "With that long face of yours you could pull off a Gumshoe pose anyday!"

*****************

Title: Sixth Sense  
Characters: Gumshoe, Missile, Gant

"GRRRRRRRRRRR!" Missile snarled, fur bristling and teeth bared as he backed away.

"Easy boy, easy!" Gumshoe said in alarm, tightening his grip on the lead. "I'm sorry, sir, he doesn't normally do this-"

"Oh, don't worry, Shoey," Gant said breezily. "Dogs are funny things, doesn't take much to set them off." He fixed Missile with a cold stare, and Missile immediately stopped growling, diving behind Gumshoe with his tail between his legs.

As Gant walked away, Maggey, who was passing by with some files, whispered in Gumshoe's ear,

"My granny always told me dogs know people better than we do..."

*****************

Title: This Means War  
Word Count: 126

“Nick, give me the remote or you’ll be sorry.” 

Maya’s voice was quiet but possessed menacing undertones. She was half-crouched in a fighting stance, shifting from foot to foot and ready to lunge at Phoenix, who was very relieved that the sofa stood between them. He himself was light on his feet, ready to dive in either direction if she made an attack. They were at a standoff.

“Did it have to come to this, Maya?” he pleaded. “Can’t we just sit and watch Judge Judy first and turn over to the Steel Summer Special after-“

“Nuh-uh!” Maya held up a hand, cutting him off. “It overruns by fifteen minutes – that’s not good enough! Now hand it over, Nick. Don’t make me have to bite you...”

*****************

Title: White Noise  
Characters: Oldbag, Edgeworth

“…I’m not getting any younger, my darling Edgey-poo – all these crimes aren’t good for my health!“

“Would you please excuse me for a moment, Mrs. Oldbag?” Edgeworth paused the tape recorder and hurriedly left the room.

“Well! Surely there is nothing else more pressing on your time than inter---“

When Edgeworth re-entered the room the elderly security guard was still ranting at his empty chair. He sat back down again.

“My apologies, Mrs. Oldbag, please continue,” he said, switching the tape recorder back on again.

Oldbag’s lips moved, but Edgeworth couldn’t hear a sound. He nodded and said soothing words as she raved on, and inwardly he revelled in the silence he’d escaped to with the help of his industrial strength earplugs. He’d ask all the questions, and then in the evening, when he had the luxury of the tape recorder’s fast forward button, he’d find out what her answers were.

*****************

Title: Just Keep Swimming…  
Characters: Miles Edgeworth

For Miles Edgeworth, swimming wasn’t just about keeping fit, though he felt invigorated after forty laps. Nor venting frustration, despite the satisfaction of forcing his limbs powerfully through the water, slicing through it with a torpedo stroke. It was how he channelled thoughts, mind cleared by the rhythmic splashes, the whoosh of air bubbles rushing past his ears, the synchrony of his movements and the cool, cleansing sensation of the water. 

And there were the little squeals of excitement from the girls sitting at the poolside as he walked by. Oh yes, he knew he looked damn good in Speedos.

*****************

Title: Colours  
Characters: Maya, Phoenix, Pearl

The avenue was laid with a rich, burnished carpet of red, brown and gold leaves. The plane trees had finally shed their loads with the descending autumn, and some hardworking street cleaner had carefully raked all the leaves off the footpath, leaving them in kneedeep heaps around the tree trunks. Pearl was surveying the view in silent wonder.

“She’s enraptured,” Phoenix commented to Maya, who was putting on her scarf.

“We’ve only got evergreens growing up in Kurain Village,” Maya replied. “Not many leaves dropping up there! You ready, Pearls?”

Pearl didn’t reply, she was still staring wide-eyed at the autumn scenery, chewing absently on one of her coat toggles. Phoenix suddenly grinned, swooping down to pick up the little spirit medium, tucking her under one arm.

“Hey!” Pearl protested. “Mister Nick!”

“Time to see the leaves up close, Pearls! One, two, THREE!” he plonked Pearl down on the leaves and scooped up a massive handful of them, dumping it on top of Pearl’s head.

“Oiiiimmmfff,” Pearl disappeared under a shower of leaves.

She brushed them off, but a few were stuck in her hair. Mischief came into her eyes and she stood up, leaves tumbling off her.

“You’ll be sorry for that, Mister Nick!” she rolled up one sleeve. “Mystic Maya, ATTACK!” she ordered, and Maya, who had sneaked up behind with a handful of leaves, jumped on Phoenix and shoved them down his shirt.

“Ack, COLD!” Phoenix shivered convulsively – the leaves were wet and he was pretty sure Maya had done it on purpose. “Grr, you’re gonna get it now!” he rounded on Maya, pushing her over into the leaves, but Pearl was on his other side stuffing leaves into his suit pockets. “You as well? You two are like a pair of terriers – fend one off and the other attacks! Take THAT!” he whirled around, extending his arm like a fencer to tickle Pearl’s nose with a leaf, making her sneeze and back off a little, then he used the space to kick a spray of leaves over Maya, who was rolling around in them laughing.

“Pthah!” Maya spat out a leaf. “Right, that’s it!” she rose out of the leaf carpet like a forest monster, tackling Phoenix around the legs. He fell down, the dry leaves beneath him crackling and rustling and a few stray ones flying in the air.

The flying leaves gently settled on Maya and Phoenix, who were lying in a tangle amongst the leaf litter. Pearl chuckled.

“Mystic Maya and Mister Nick, sitting in the leaves,” she began to sing, “K-I-“

“GET HER!”

Two leaf-covered forest monsters sprang up now, lunging at Pearl who squealed and turned to run, but it was too late.

“A job well done, I think,” Phoenix said smugly, picking a leaf out of Maya’s hair.

In the corner was a large pile of giggling leaves that was moving as Pearl tried to burrow her way out. She had never thought that autumn could be so much fun!

*****************

Title: Queue  
Characters: Maya, Phoenix

“Is that… Gumshoe?!” Maya stood on tiptoe to peer over the heads of the people in front. “Hey, Nick, keep my spot – I’m going to talk to him!”

She vanished into the crowd. Phoenix felt out of place standing in a queue of kids and mothers, but Maya had dragged him along so she could score an extra autograph.

 _What’s Gumshoe doing here?_ Phoenix wondered. _I didn’t think he was a Steel Samurai fan. He doesn’t even own a TV!_

Maya reappeared a few minutes later with a big grin on her face.

“He’s here to get one for Edgeworth!”

*****************

Title: Imposter  
Characters: Edgeworth, ?

“Objection!” Edgeworth shouted, pointing to the man at the defence stand. “That attorney is not Phoenix Wright!”

The man blinked in surprise, then smiled sheepishly, running his hands through his wavy dark brown hair and pushing back his messy fringe.

“Wow, you really don’t recognise me when I’ve run out of hair gel, do you?”

Edgeworth gave him a long stare, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Well, Wright, you had me fooled. Your normal appearance is that of a walking toothbrush, so seeing you without those spikes of yours came as a shock,” he said blithely.

_Geez, thanks a bunch!_

 

*****************

Title: Focus  
Characters: Edgeworth, Gumshoe

Gumshoe stared fixedly at the '12' on his watch, waiting for the second hand to come into view. His stomach rumbled loudly.

"C'mon, pal... c'mon..." he muttered to himself.

Edgeworth walked into the Criminal Affairs department and spotted Gumshoe in the corner, clock-watching intently.

"YES!" Gumshoe roared triumphantly, diving across the counter for the steaming pot noodle sitting on the sinktop, stirring it frenziedly with the plastic fork. "3 minutes is up - it's lunchtiiime!"

Gumshoe tipped the noodly contents of the container into his gaping jaws and Edgeworth turned away in disgust, shaking his head as revolting slurping noises ensued.

"Mmm, hehe," Gumshoe patted his stomach, "that sure filled a hole! What can I do for you, Mr. Edgeworth?"

"With each passing day you do more to convince me that you, Detective, are some kind of throwback from the Neanderthal era," Edgeworth grimaced. "If you were as focused on your policing activities as you are on food I'm sure the precinct's arrest rates would double overnight."

Gumshoe chortled.

"Too bad I can only afford to eat one pot noodle a day, sir - if my stomach were always full I'd be a detective on fire!"

Edgeworth pictured this and shuddered.

"On second thoughts, carry on starving," he waved a dismissive hand in the detective's direction and wandered off.

Gumshoe looked at his watch and sighed. 6 hours to go till ramen time...

*****************

 

Title: Broke  
Characters: Phoenix, Maya

“Pooooooooost!” Maya trilled, depositing a pile of letters on Phoenix’s desk.

“Oh hell, they’re all brown envelopes,” Phoenix groaned, prodding them warily with a biro. “I’m going to have to do some sort of sacrificial dance around the telephone to get us a case at this rate.”

“O telephone, for thou art mighty,” Maya proclaimed, passing her hands mystically over the top of the white telephone on Phoenix’s desk, “ring forth with triumphant… er… triumphant-ness, and give us a case!”

The telephone started to ring. Maya and Phoenix stared at it for a few seconds, dumbfounded, then they both reached to grab it.

“MINE!”

They fought over the receiver for a few seconds but Phoenix won.

“Wright and Co. Law Offices?”

“Hello, thiz is Patel Patel from Patel Double Glazing with some great specials-“

This was just too much.

“OBJECTION!” Phoenix cried, putting the phone down and sagging in his chair. “They mock me, I swear, cold-calling me when I’ve barely got enough money to pay the phone bills…”

“Maybe getting the phone cut off wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” Maya wondered.

“O mighty telephone…”

“Nooo, you’re doing it wrong, lunkhead!”

*****************

Title: Wish You Were Here?  
Pairing/Characters: Maya, Pearl

“It’s time, Pearly!” Maya squealed excitedly, hurrying to the TV followed by a bouncing Pearl.

“Now, the latest season of the Iron Samurai!” the presenter announced.

The first triumphant bars of the opening theme began to play and the girls planted themselves in front of the TV, ready to cheer on the Samurai in his latest exploits. Yet somehow, it felt different…

“It’s not the same without Mister Nick standing behind us and saying it’s chee-zee,” Pearl said sadly.

“You’re right, Pearls,” Maya sighed. “It’s not- OH! Neo Olde Tokyo is under attack!”

They were glued to the screen from then on.

*****************

Title: Acoustics  
Characters: Odoroki, Garyuu (GS4)

"OBJECTION!"

It was crisp and clear, with a slight harmonic to it and a satisfying echo following on its heels. It didn't sound too bad, actually. Perhaps the wooden panelling lining the walls gave it a more authoritative tone.

"Odoroki, court doesn't start for another hour," Garyuu's bass rumble harmonised with the last remnants of the echo. "If you start practicing now you won't have any voice left for the trial."

"But..." Odoroki sighed, running his fingers along the polished teak of the defence stand. "It sounds better here than it does at the office. What about... HOLD IT!"

Garyuu shook his head, shutting the door and leaving him to it.

*****************

Title: It Came From The Dead  
Characters: Edgeworth, Maya, Phoenix

“Long time no see, Wright.”

Phoenix whirled round to look at the speaker behind him. His eyes went wide.

“E-Edgeworth! But-“

“You thought I was dead?” Edgeworth wagged a finger at him smugly. “You should’ve known better, Wright.”

“But… that note you left,” Phoenix stammered.

“I did choose death, Wright. I meant what I said,” Edgeworth said loftily. “However, through death I was reborn.”

Hydraulics squeaked and Edgeworth’s head began to rise up, mounted on elongating tubes that glinted in the light. His arms and legs did the same, and suddenly Edgeworth was towering over Phoenix, eyes glowing red.

Phoenix backed away from the Edgeworth-thing, lost for words and heart pounding in his chest.

“Abroad I underwent certain modifications,” Edgeworth boomed in a metallic voice. “And now I have returned, reborn, to bring real justice to the courtroom!”

Lasers blasted forward from his eyes, narrowly missing Phoenix and leaving huge indentations in the floor. Edgeworth stepped forward, his massive mechanical feet cracking the tiles.

“I’m going to die… I’m going to die at the hands of a mecha-Edgeworth…” Phoenix gibbered, crouching behind the defense stand.

“Not so fast, Evil Magistrate!” the Steel Samurai roared, leaping from the gallery.

Edgeworth snarled, turning on the costumed samurai who stood before him.

“We’ve come to save you, Nick!” Maya cried, jumping out from behind the prosecutor’s stand dressed in a Pink Princess outfit.

“This is just getting too weird,” Phoenix moaned, head in his hands as the clang of sword on metal echoed around the courtroom.

Even with his mechanical modifications, the combined onslaught of Steel Samurai and Pink Princess was too much for Edgeworth to deal with. The Steel Samurai’s weapon ripped off the hydraulic plating on his legs and he collapsed like a broken Blue Badger, bellowing in anger. Maya took this chance to beat Edgeworth on the head with her pink staff, knocking him unconscious. She turned to face Phoenix with a smile on her face.

“Nick…” she said. “Nick… wake up.”

“WHOA!” Phoenix fell on the floor with a crash. “Wha-“

“Nick, you were totally away with the fairies! What were you dreaming about? You looked kinda scared.” Maya was standing over him, dressed in her normal medium clothing.

“Phew…” Phoenix sighed with relief, realising he’d fallen asleep on the couch in the office. “You saved me from Mecha-Edgeworth, Maya. Thankyou.”

Maya gave him an odd look.

“The Pink Princess outfit actually kinda suits you,” Phoenix added.

Maya shook her head in despair, taking away the plate of cheese and biscuits that had been sitting on the coffee table.

“See what happens when you eat cheese before you sleep?” she admonished him. “You’re delusional enough as it is without helping it along!”

“Hey…!”

*****************

Title: Pet  
Author: tellezara  
Pairing/Characters: If I tell you it ruins the joke XD

“Here, boy!” Edgeworth called, snapping his fingers.

“Yessir?”

“I was calling to the dog, Gumshoe, not you. These chocolate drops aren’t for-” Edgeworth broke off, looking at the hopeful expression on Gumshoe’s face.

“Fine,” he said with a sigh, flicking the chocolate drop he was holding into the air.

Gumshoe tried to catch it in his mouth but failed. With a gleeful grin he retrieved it from the floor and popped it into his mouth, trotting away happily. Missile, who was now sitting at Edgeworth’s feet, looked at Gumshoe’s retreating back, then up at the prosecutor confusedly, whining and placing one paw on Edgeworth’s shoe.

“This one’s definitely for you,” Edgeworth promised, fishing another one out of the packet.

*****************

Title: Departure.  
Characters: Manfred von Karma  
Warning: Implied spoiler for Case 4, PW:AA

“Aren’t you scared, man?”

Manfred von Karma looked distastefully at the triple murderer who was in the barred cell opposite him.

“Why should I be?” he replied. “My life and my career were models of perfection – when they are marred, is it not natural to look forward to a perfect death? A lethal injection is painless, swift and clean. In fact, it’s an ideal way for me to depart.”

“How can death be perfect? You’re, like, dead. You can’t be anything when you’re dead.’

“Your reasoning is ignorant and it doesn’t interest me. Stop talking.” Von Karma folded his arms and shut his eyes, settling into the uncomfortable chair in his cell. He waited for a perfect departure.

*****************

Title: Unfair?  
WARNING: Massive spoiler for Justice for All, Case 3 (like, the whole ending!) This will also only really make sense if you’ve played that case.  
Characters: Phoenix, Judge, Case 3 characters.

“It was an accident only because the wrong person was there. In all other respects it was murder, and your desire for revenge lead you to it. You have a good heart and it saddens me that you chose to follow such a twisted path,” the judge said gravely to the man on the witness stand, who looked back at him through his free-flowing tears. “I declare the defendant, Maximillion Galactica, not guilty – in his place I sentence the witness, Ken Dingling, aka Acro, for the murder of Ringmaster Reginald Berry.” The bang of the gavel echoed around the courtroom like a firing squad gunshot. The court was silent.

Phoenix hung his head, his job at the defense stand completed. The victory was a sour one. He couldn’t bring himself to watch the bailiffs handcuffing the crying acrobat and wheeling him away.

__

I’m sorry, Acro...it shouldn’t be ending this way.


End file.
